This assessment is designed to help you understand how your nervous system and sense of self have been affected by the ending of a romantic or deeply significant relationship.

It does not assess mental health, personality, or who was “right” or “wrong.”
It does not diagnose conditions or label you or your former partner.

Instead, it explains why your body and mind may still feel unsettled, even if you intellectually understand that the relationship needed to end.

Many breakup experiences that feel confusing, overwhelming, compulsive, or intensely physical are not emotional weakness.
They are nervous-system responses to relational rupture, especially when the relationship played a role in regulation, identity, or perceived safety.

Importantly:

Not all distress after a breakup means you want the relationship back.
Much of it reflects a nervous system adjusting to lost regulation, not lost love.

This assessment also distinguishes between attachment to a person and attachment to the regulation the relationship provided.

This assessment will help you understand:

1. What your nervous system is responding to.
2. Which survival patterns are currently active.
3. Where strain or overload is being held.
4. What kind of support your system needs now, not later.
5. Understanding what is happening is often the first step back to safety.

How to Answer

Please respond based on how things feel now, or how they have felt since the separation.

Use the following scale:

1 = Strongly Disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neutral / Unsure
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly Agree

There are no right or wrong answers.
Answer honestly, based on your lived experience.

If this breakup is recent, your responses may reflect acute nervous-system shock rather than long-term patterns. This is expected.

What this domain looks at:

Whether the relationship functioned as a source of regulation for your nervous system, separate from love, compatibility, or health.

Why this matters:

Some relationships act as external regulators. When that regulation is removed, the nervous system can experience withdrawal-like instability, even when the relationship itself was harmful.

What this domain looks at:

How your nervous system adapted to patterns of closeness and distance, without labels or blame.

Why this matters:

Inconsistent or unpredictable connection trains the nervous system to remain alert, even after the relationship ends.

What this domain looks at:

How your sense of self shifted, compressed, became over-extended, or was placed on hold inside the relationship.

Why this matters:

After rupture, identity confusion often reflects self-systems reorganising, not loss of self.

What this domain looks at:

Whether your nervous system has updated its predictions about safety, danger, and the future.

Why this matters:

The nervous system operates on prediction. After rupture, outdated predictions can keep threat responses active even when danger has passed.

What this domain looks at:

Automatic survival responses aimed at restoring safety through contact, explanation, or being seen.

Why this matters:

These urges are not signs of weakness or desire, they are threat-resolution behaviours driven by the nervous system

What this domain looks at:

Mental repetition as an attempt to restore coherence and safety.

Why this matters:

Insight without regulation often increases distress rather than resolving it.

What this domain looks at:

Your nervous system’s current bandwidth for recovery.

Why this matters:

Healing is limited by capacity, not motivation.

What this domain looks at:

How the type of ending and contact pattern affect nervous-system settling.

Why this matters:

Ambiguous or intermittent endings prolong threat activation.

What this domain looks at:

Whether the nervous system is holding threat toward the self, and whether letting go feels unsafe.

Why this matters:

Ambivalence about healing often reflects identity protection, not resistance.

Thank you for completing the REALIGN™ Breakup Diagnostic

Your responses are now being processed to identify the key patterns driving your current experience.

You will receive a personalised REALIGN™ report outlining:
• what your nervous system is responding to
• which patterns are currently active
• what your system needs next

This is not about what’s wrong with you
It’s about understanding what your system has adapted to and how to support it moving forward